I’ve survived midterms week. I began this week equipped with a lengthy to do list, coffee, highlighters, and a decent supply of ice cream. Weeks like this are rough. I don’t sleep well, I don’t feel well, and I feel a little crazy. Stress and I don’t mix well, I learned that full well last semester. I become a sleep deprived zombie with little to no energy and often feel physical symptoms of my stress. This semester has been exponentially better in the stress department, but weeks like this come around to remind me just how bad I can feel if I don’t manage my stress well.
I’m the kind of person that tries to do it all. I go to bed every night and set crazy high expectations for the next day. It goes something along the lines of, “Okay so I’ll set my alarm for 6:30, so I can get up, shower, eat breakfast maybe read a little bit, and pack a lunch. Then I’ll get to class early, ask my professor about my project, use my break in between classes to do notes in advance, and maybe apply to like 8 internships. After I get back from class I should reorganize my whole room, work out, and then make myself a gourmet meal and then have time to talk to Person A, B, and C, do my devotions, watch 3 episodes of my favorite show, and finish all my homework and make it in bed by midnight!!!!”
Sounds awful, right? I know reasonably I can’t (and won’t) do all these things. But I constantly push myself to think that I can “do it all.” And I feel extremely guilty when I don’t accomplish even a fraction of what I’ve set out to do. I beat myself up about it, and it kind of ruins my life. See image below:
I see people who seem like they can do it all, and I feel like I should be able to as well. People who manage to sleep a decent amount, dress well, stay fit, eat decent meals, ace all their exams, work, lead clubs, and still have time for all their friends and even a boyfriend or girlfriend. I cannot do this. These people are aliens, probably. Or have clones. I’m not sure, feel free to fill me in on your secrets if you are this person.
Trying to do it all also seems to come with a friend I like to call “the fear of missing out,” or FOMO. I have a bad case of FOMO. I have a hard time saying no to anything because what if I miss out?? FOMO hits me hard because for one, I am a people pleaser. I like people to be happy with me. I don’t like to tell them no. I also get a lot of satisfaction from being the person who is always there. I like being readily available to help solve any personal crisis or even small mishap. Got dumped? I’ll be there with ice cream and a movie in 5 min and have no qualms listening to you talk about it for the next month. Need a ride? I’ve got you. It’s a blessing and a curse.
But here’s the secret guys:
You can’t do it all. You’re going to miss out. And you know what?
You’re going to be okay. The world will keep on turning. And missing out isn’t the worst thing. Sometimes you just need to sit at home and do absolutely nothing. And that FOMO will creep in. And so will the guilt for not being somewhere else. But it will be exactly what you need. And that is good, and that is healthy, and that is okay.
So fellow “do it all”ers, STOP. Leave the superhuman strength to the superheros. Learn from my mistakes and save yourself from the overwhelming guilt, months of sleep deprivation, and self-hatred. You’ll feel better and your life will seem less like a list of obligations and more like something you’re excited about. Trust me on this one, this is one experience you do want to miss out on. 🙂
This Is Me Writing Things 